Banana Dude and Gorilla Man
by Oriana
Summary: *sweatdrop* Errr...well, to say the least, it was the ONLy pair of costumes left at the costume shop! You can't blame the braided baka, can ya?


The Adventures of Banana Dude and Gorilla Man

by Oriana Maxwell.

Note: This is THE most DEMENTED thing I have ever written...and I'm writing a sequel. I have such a sad, sad life... --.--;;

Heero?"

"I said NO."

"Aw, come on!" Duo snuggled down into his lovers lap, blinking his eyes and staring up at Heero. "It's just for one night! They were out of everthing else at the costume shop!"

"I will not humiliate myself like this in front of the entire world."

"Uh, Heero, it's only Relena's costume ball. This might be your one chance to finally scare her off for good. Besides, you don't even know what I got for you to wear."

"I like it that way."

"You can't be serious." Duo grabbed the Japanese boy's arm and dragged him through the bedroom door and away from that hated laptop. "You shouldn't be afriad of getting all dressed up. It's not like I got you a chicken suit or anything."

"I'm afriad it's worse than that."

"Oh, come one, there is NOTHING worse than a chicken suit." Duo reached into a large cardboard box and hauled out two costumes, one a bright yellow, and the other a deep black.

"A Banana suit and a gorrilla costume?!"

"Like I said, they were short on costumes."

Heero sighed in resignation and held out his hand. "Which am I?"

Duo licked his lips. "You're the banana, just so I can unpeel you later."

"That's kinky, Maxwell."

"Hehe... I know."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"This is so humiliating. I told you we should have taken a taxi, but no... you HAD to take the city bus."

"You could have called a taxi."

"What, and leave such a deformed looking gorilla out alone on the streets at night?"

"I am NOT deformed looking. At least I don't look like a giant yellow--"

"DON'T SAY IT." Heero slapped his hand over his koi's mouth. Sometimes, Duo was just too perverted for his own good.

"Mmmoh mm mpph!" Duo finished triumphantly, biting down on the other's hand.

"Itai!" Heero yanked his hand away, cradling it to his chest. "Are you aware that we're getting odd stares from the other passengers?"

"Oh, yeah, it's been going on ever since we got on board."

"Duo..."

"Yeah?"

"There's a weird guy behind me who looks like he wants to eat me."

Duo turned around in his seat and meeped loudly. "OH MY GOD! F*CK!" He grabbed Heero and dragged his lover off the bus at the next stop, not looking back at the odd man with the biogenic implants throughout his body.

"Hey, look! It's Banana Dude and Gorilla Man!"

The American spun around to see a freckle-faced little kid with a basketball staring at them in amazement. "Don't get any ideas, kid! This psycho is all mine!"

The kid's mother stormed out of their apartment and spewed a stream of curses at both her son and the pilots before she stalked back inside, leaving Duo to laugh hysterically at what had just transpired.

Heero grabbed the other boy by his gorilla suit and hauled him down the street, muttering something unintelligible in Japanese. "Omae o korosu, baka..."

*~*~*~*~*~*

They stood outside the door of Relena's mansion, trying to peer past the elaborate pink decorations and baloons that adorned the huge house. "Oiy, Hee-chan, just go in..." Duo offered, pushing the other forwards.

"No no no, that's okay, Duo. You can go in first."

"No, you. Bananas first."

"Gorillas deserve so much more chivalry."

"I thought chivalry was dead!"

"Well, it isn't." With that, Heero shoved the large gorilla through the gate, all the way up to Relena's door. "Now ring the bell."

"This is chivalry?"

"Just ring it!"

"Fine, fine..." Duo slapped his large hands against the doorbell, resulting in a large *crack*. He watched in horror as the door fell open, nearly crushing Relena. "Uh-oh..."

Relena blinked as she took in the sigh of Heero in a overpowering banana suit, then her gaze turned to the oversized gorilla on her front porch. "Heeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooo!"

"WHAT?!" Heero snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

She pointed to Duo. "G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-"

"Gorilla?" Gorilla Man asked, his voice slightly muffled. "I'm no gorilla. I'm Gorilla Man!"

Banana Dude elbowed his partner in the ribs. (Does a gorilla have ribs? I think so.) "Very funny."

"Sheesh, Banana Dude! Have a sense of humor for once!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"No! Banana Dude!"

"Gorilla Man!"

"So what?"

"So?"

"Sooooooooo?"

Relena watched, shaking, as Banana Dude and Gorilla Man's disagreement upgraded itself to an all out catfight. Finally, she passed out, making a loud thud as she hit the porch.

Banana Dude and Gorilla Man stopped mid slap. "Now look what you've done!"

"What I'VE done? It was your fault! You started it!"

"Did not!"

"DID TOO!" Heero shrieked, attempting to climb out of his banana suit.

"Oh ho, look! He's losing his temper!" Gorilla Man raised an eyebrow and watched as Banana Dude succeeded in peeling off the top layer, taking his shirt with him. "Oiy! Now he's doing a strip tease! Kiddies, cover your eyes! This is not for a general audience!"

Heero looked down and blushed. "Oops..." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Like you have anything to hide."

"That's not true! Wait, it is..."

END PART ONE

"Each year, millions of people die from drunk driving and drunk drivers. So why do we have Miller Time when cigarette ads are banned from television? Face it. Alchohol kills too."

~Oriana Maxwell~


End file.
